19 January 2006

Hockey Canada v George Orwell

The top puck pigs of HockeyCanada are spending a lot of time with pro hockey players. Remember when HockeyCanada was the Canadian Amateur Hockey Association. Starting to sound like Orwell's Animal Farm?

What should be done? Well, we are all familiar with how Bob Nicholson & HockeyCanada likes to take credit for Canada's success on the international stage. That is like saying Ralph Klein is responsible for Alberta's wealth. It is time for HockeyCanada to part ways with the body responsible for the development of grassroots hockey in Canada. A new, focused organization has to be created to ensure our children receive the attention they deserve.

The coronation of Nicholson was linked to these comments, "Time to get back to the grassroots of hockey." Well that begs the question, What the hell was Murray Costello doing for the previous 18 years at the helm of the CAHA? And guess who was just inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame? Costello, for singlehandedly setting hockey development in Canada back 20 years. Nicholson's comments also bring us to question his reign as President of HockeyCanada, nee Canadian Hockey Association, nee Canadian Amateur Hockey Association.

Is he still focused on grassroots? No, he's all about the World's, the Olympics, the NHL, TSN/CTV and Gretzky. Much more glamorous than tying skates, pushing pilons around, working the scoreclock, warming the car up and driving kids to practice, cutting and taping sticks, calling around to find a ref, drinking mocha and hanging out in cold arenas. No, none of that for Nicholson, the man responsible for all our kids. He can be found in the skybox with his pinky out counting the days until he is elected into the IIHF, patting Ralph Klein on the back for doing such a good job in Alberta.

And I even bet Nicholson sleeps in a bed...

ASK SAKIC, He'll carry the flag!

The Captain of Team Canada will carry the flag, just ask him...

16 January 2006

More of the Same: Conflict of Interest in Minor Hockey

When will it end? Hockey Canada refuses to issue Conflict of Interest guidelines for the provincial governing bodies or local MHA's. The latest fiasco involves Hockey Manitoba and the appointment of Peter Woods as Head Coach of the province's womens hockey team that will compete at the 2007 Canada Winter Games in Whitehorse, YT. What is the big deal? Well, Mr Woods just happens to be the EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR of Hockey Manitoba.

A conflict of interest is a situation in which someone in a position of trust, such as an executive director of a corporation (Hockey Manitoba), has competing professional and/or personal interests (Head Coach of Manitoba's Women's Team).

Even if there is no evidence of improper actions, a conflict of interest can create an appearance of impropriety that can undermine confidence in the ability of that person to act properly.

More generally, conflict of interest can be defined as any situation in which an individual or corporation (either private or governmental) is in a position to exploit a professional or official capacity in some way for their personal or corporate benefit.

Is Peter Woods a good Executive Director? Perhaps. Is he a good hockey coach? Perhaps. Is he in a conflict of interest? Yes.

Call Peter Woods to start, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR of Hockey Manitoba & Head Coach of Manitoba's Womens Team:Peter Woods ph: (204) 925-5757. email: peter@hockeymanitoba.mb.ca

14 January 2006

Hockey v Bullying, A Lesson for the Ages

When I was a kid, it was the hockey guys that acted as the UN. Few people had a difficult time with us except the bullies. Hockey guys love a good one on one, but bullying, no way did we stand for someone pushing their weight around on smaller or disadvantaged kids. Ask Gretzky on that one. Bullies were targets for us hockey guys, especially those that fancied themselves as enforcers. We hockey players saw bullies as an opportunity to become involved in the judicial process, to be part of the decisionmaking. There was a sense of honour amongst us, maybe even respect. We would throw 'em with each other, but never on another kid that had no chance. And if you wanted to jaw, you'd get sorted too. We never saw the fun in making someone cry, but we'd score goals on you until you did. And sure, we'd tease someone who got a sponge in the nads, but when you're in that much pain what's another shot?

The shooting of a grade 8 student, a kid from Florida, is truly a sad story we thankfully do not hear about in Canada. This kid was bullied. He hated life. He wanted to die. I wish the cops would have just gassed him when he ran into the washroom, but they pushed it to the conclusion that is so common with the 'Merkins.

I wish the kid coulda played hockey, or knew a kid who did... His name was Christopher Penley.

Isn't it time for the BULLYCAM, some kinda show that exposes bullies and their spineless and shallow behavior?

06 January 2006

Off Wing Odd Man Rush: SHUTDOWN by the Acid Queen

Panties too tight? Nope.
Pumps too high? Unh unh.
Cramps? No.
Out of Midol? Negative.
Jolted? No way.

The Acid Queen, who is actually a gay field hockey blogger(tame) working as a cross dressing receptionist for an insurance corp, succumbed to that which all bloggers fear, a better lookin', better writin', wittier and all round more sophisticated & elegant postmonger. Didn't help I disagreed with the Insufferable One... Did I miss something in Blog 101?

Note to bloggers: Editing your posts is tantamount to a fighter turning down an opponent cuz he/she might get beat. Some may consider this a survival tactic, but sportsters all know deep down in their competitive hearts, you're really just a bum, which AQ wishes she(male) had.

Foundation Trilogy & BOOCOUVER

C'mon people, this is easy, christ, Asimov had a perfect explanation. Of course it was a massively complex formula involving MEME's, ideologies, all known social influences and pi as a variable.

I'd like our neighbours to remember 2 important things:

1) They were boos, not bombs. So as classless or uncivil as you characterize the curmudgeons in Boocouver, it really is a sticks and stones thing. Merkins have bigger problems on their hands than some heckling from a country with no army. Really now...

2) You hurt the ones you love. Canada is in the middle of yet another federal election, we've got yanks running around europe with cdn flags on their back packs, half of us are descended from United Empire Loyalists, its F**kin' xmas and as a few have so brilliantly observed, this is all going on in an ice arena, which is basically one big therapy session for canucks.

So NAY-BORES, go fly our flag upside down, sing our national anthem to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree, refer to us as your retarded cousins, keep our softwood lumber duty and send an overrated team to the WJC... You only wish this was the type of shitstorm you had to deal with regularly on the international stage. Now it all makes sense, 'eh?

LOVE(beating you),
Nanook & friends(the world, except maybe the Danes, Hans Island thingy)
Great White Hockey Nation to the North(near Buffalo and south of Alaska)

The Day After The Day of The WJC '06 GOLD!!!!!!!

This year's WJC really grabbed my attention for a couple of reasons:

1. as back in the good old days, this year's teams were quite a bit
more polarized in terms of their approach to the game - the Russians were
more "Russian" than they've been for a while, and the Canadians were more
"lunch bucket/truly Canadian" than in the past. As a result, this was kind
of a "let's see which kind of hockey is better" tournament - sort of "who'd
win a fight between Batman and Spiderman?";

2. we came in as underdogs, and that's just fine with me. If we send a
team out like last year, anything less than total domination would have been
an underachievement. That team should have done exactly what it did - full
credit to them, but really that's just how good they were;

3. this team, in the course of only a couple of weeks, became
exponentially better than the sum of its parts, proving how valuable and
important that is in sport. I love the idea that a group of guys pulling in
the same direction can go faster than bigger, stronger, more talented
opponents not functioning effectively as a team. I also love the idea that
you can't just throw together an all-star team and expect them to beat a
less talented bunch of guys;

Miscellaneous rants:

1. very embarrassed at the shabby treatment that the American team got
from our fans. Since when do Canadians boo another team's national anthem?
Sure, we'd rather see them lose than just about anybody, but that's not how
you behave as a fan and a host, regardless of who's playing. Pretty tough
to claim the moral high ground when you're behaving like that;

2. have to say that the refereeing improved dramatically after I sent
my e-mail to the IIHF. Don't want to claim all the credit, but boy did they
do an about face. Since everyone was so quick to criticize the officiating
at the outset, I think they should also give credit where its due;

3. how about those Finns? Those bastards don't know when to quit, and
boy do they play some gritty hockey. Too bad for the Americans, because
that'll mean they make some wholesale changes to their program, but good on
the Finns. Marathon with the Swedes, complete war with the Canadians, and
then on 36 hours rest right back at it with the Americans;

4. I agree with about 60% of what Don Cherry says, but I always enjoy
listening to him. I agree with almost all of what Pierre Maguire says (at
least the hockey analysis part), but I can't stand listening to that
annoying little shit.

Mr Chin

Malkin & the Russian Mafia
Word is leaking out about a possible Mafia Coaching Job on Malkin... While rather odd he was not on the ice for a number of PP opps, even the Russian Mafia are crazed hockey fans. Canada was just that good and the Vancouver fans were like an adrenaline IV drip...

04 January 2006

House of UnCommons

Canada v Finland: They're Finnished
Russia v USA: Boo Hoo Overrated Clowns
Canada v Russia: Sutter better loosen his mindmeld. We're not robots, let them play.

Lifelong Suspension: Murray Costello: Charged for Treason. Hockey Hall of SHAME. Wouldn't know grassroots if you pounded his head into a golf green with a sledgehammer. Enjoy the wine and schnitzel in Zurich you traitor. Singlehandedly set Canadian hockey development back 20 years.

Major & Match: Bob Nicholson: Sellout. Hockey Canada now wholly owned subsiduary of Esso, Nike, Telus and thanks to new deal, CTV. It used to be called Canadian AMATUER Hockey Association. 'nuf said.

First Star: Alan Adams gets it right on GONZO-Gonzo Gonzalez. see http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/columnist.jsp?content=20060101_162038_4552

Major: Hayley?? Hamburger Helper? Unscripted? Whatever they paid you, it wasn't enough.

Misconduct: Home Depot Commercial: Nice continuity you clowns. kid shoots puck with black tape on stick, next frame has ghost shooter with white tape on stick as frosty takes one to the bucket.

Cut from team: Yanks freaking out about booing in Boocouver. Those are boos, not bombs. What you get when you run around the world like a jungle 'b' goon.

Rule Change: 3 years max on presidency of Hockey Canada. Anyone seen a financial statement from HC? And you won't. CHA: Corruption, Harrasment, Abuse

Injured Reserve: Gary Glitter? Back off bozzo's. Legislate no residuals to the pervert, now maybe you can sleep at night. Song is still best score rally tune out there.

Wrong sport: Skins v Shirts: Take it off!! Acid Queen should OD on midol.

Stacked: Sutter set coaching win record. And Klein is responsible for the wealth in Alberta.

Bertuzzi/Domi/McSorely File: Jack the Hack Johnson feeds off the bronx cheer. Stop encouraging him. F**K, I wish he was Canadian.

Memo to Dubya: You know something is wrong when the Canadians start cheering for the Russians in hockey.

01 January 2006

Runaway Train of Ineptitude

Seems we're constantly fixing hockey. Get The Puck Outta Here seeks to ID problems and potential problems in the game. There is little fear on the GTPOH staff... We will go in the corners after a story... just email us and we'll take a shot. You always get the assist.

Ratings are:

A) Minor
B) Major
C) Misconduct
D) Match
You get the idea... and now for our first call...Seeing eye dog and all...


A quick look at the WJC Vancouver 05/06 Tournament Chairman's hockey resume REVEALS the problem with INTL Hockey...

Born on November 14, 1955 in Barcelona, Spain. Started to play juvenile hockey in North York, Ontario, Canada in the early 70s and went on play on Junior B level for the Preston Raiders in Ontario, Canada. Returned to his native Spain in the mid 70s and joined the ice hockey program of the world famous FC Barcelona. Won several Spanish national championships with Casco-Viejo and later with C.G. Puigcerda. After representing Spain in several IIHF World Championships in the 70s and 80s, Gonzalez went into officiating and refereed his last IIHF World Championship (U18, Pool C in Sofia, Bulgaria) in 1991. Later served as referee supervisor in many IIHF championships, the last time in Majadahonda, Spain in 2001. Spanish delegate to IIHF congresses since 1991. Frank Gonzalez was a member of the IIHF World Championship Structure Committee 1998 – 2002.

Who really cares if you played Portugal or Luxembourg? This is the best of the best, not best of the worst. Giving this guy the reins of the WJC Tournament is a cheapshot to hockey globally and makes Bertuzzi look like a choirboy.

DISCIPLINARY ACTION: Resign and/or Reassigned to World Table Hockey Championships.

http://www.iihf.com/iihf/organisation/council.htm Hockey's in trouble with this squad of wine-sipping megalomaniacs. Ya, soak up all the Swiss culture you can clowns, Get The Puck Outta Here is onto your experiment with the Peter Principle...


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